As the year slowly comes to an end, we may feel the need to evaluate ourselves. Did I accomplish everything I had on my resolution list? Did I get rid of hindering habits? Did I become the person I hoped I would be?
Self-evaluation reminds me of an exercise we were assigned in college. We were handed a sheet and asked to rate our performance for the semester: how responsible we had been, how hard we had worked, and how involved we had been in team assignments. Everything was measured on a scale from one to ten, where ten meant “I did my best” and one meant “I didn’t do enough.”
Whoa.
Looking back, I’m not even sure that was a good idea. It was so easy to give ourselves a ten.
Still, this memory made me consider something: we seem to have a constant need to measure things. To reassure ourselves that we’re on the right track. That we’re being productive. That we’re getting somewhere.
Is measurement a good approach for creative work, though?
While contemplating this question, I came across a quote that offered a different perspective. It’s almost magical.
Stop measuring days by degree of productivity and start experiencing them by degree of presence.
Alan Watts
We can look at self-evaluation through a completely different lens. Rather than focusing only on how much we produce as creatives, we can pay attention to what we’re learning along the way. We can appreciate the joy of working on a project and what we discover about ourselves in the process.
That’s been my experience with the book I’m currently writing. Before I start typing, I remind myself that I’m about to have fun bringing scenes to life. If I’m struggling with the plot, I trust that working on the story will help me find a way forward.
When I finish a writing session, I notice how I feel. Most of the time, I’m either giggly or excited about what comes next. That feeling tells me something meaningful about how present I’ve been with my work.
I believe creative work should feel meaningful. We create for the joy of it.
It’s okay to have goals, make sales, and keep track of profits. But our sense of worth and accomplishment can extend far beyond the numbers.
There’s so much more to meaningful creative work than what we can measure. There’s the joy of sharing something we’ve made, the freedom to express ourselves, and the discoveries we make along the way.
And when the time comes to evaluate ourselves, let’s be mindful of who gets to lead that conversation. The inner critic can be harsh, quick to point out what we haven’t done while overlooking everything we’ve experienced. But we don’t have to let that voice define our progress. Perhaps we can ask gentler questions instead: Did I enjoy the process? Did I learn something? Did I give myself room to explore?
We might discover that a meaningful year isn’t necessarily one in which we checked every box. It can also be one in which we were fully present for the life we were creating.