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Dear Creative: Don’t Explain Yourself
Dear creative, please don’t explain yourself to the world. It’s not necessary. Just do you.
One thing that changed my perspective on life radically was the Personal Bill of Rights. This is a therapeutic tool in assertiveness training, and it outlines basic rights that we all have: the right to our own thoughts, feelings, and decisions.
As I’ve integrated it into my day-to-day, I’ve come to realize that these same principles apply to the world of creativity in any discipline. I’m particularly resonating with #15:
“I have the right not to give excuses or reasons for my behaviour.”
The image of the misunderstood creator comes to mind. Conceiving an idea is a personal process. It requires quietness, privacy, and interest in a wide range of topics. People witnessing it can sometimes question why creatives do what they do. Why they’re fascinated by the simplest of things.
In the worst case scenario, that witnessing turns into criticism. Even shaming.
I have painful memories of people frowning at me for wanting to be a writer. “You won’t make enough money.” “How about a real job?” “Your brain is meant for something greater.”
I wish someone would have said: “You don’t have to explain yourself. You do you.” Creative calls require no explanation or justification. Sometimes, it’s challenging to “make sense” of it.
Franz Kafka, legendary author, says it more eloquently in this timeless quote:
Creativity is abstract. It doesn’t always manifest in specific words or linear thinking. It’s not always logical. It’s more of an inner knowing. It’s something that needs to come out to the surface. It’s not rational. It just needs to exist. And YOU are the channel through which it comes alive.
Your focus needs to be inward; on the execution and not on the justifying to others. Not on the need to be understood.
Image taken from Austin Kleon’s blog You have your own unique ways of channeling whatever that inner world is saying to you. Only you know what you need to fully shape or reshape the idea you’re receiving. Silence. Music. Books. TED Talks. “Weird” interests. It’s your call.
Whatever that looks like in the eyes of someone else, that’s none of your business. Let them live with their own thoughts. You do you. You don’t have to explain yourself.
Have you ever felt the need to justify your creative calling? What helped you reclaim your creative autonomy?
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Fear of Being Seen: A Creator’s Achille’s Heel
Fear of being seen is my Achille’s heel. I would say, this is the case for many creators out there. The struggle is challenging when there’s so much to say and little courage to speak to a camera or share thoughts on any digital platform.
My personal journey had rough start. In my university days, where I participated in a classroom exercise that left a mark.
Each student stood before the class in complete silence while their peers anonymously wrote down impressions on slips of paper. Later on, the individual standing would get them to gain insight into perceptions and reflect on their accuracy.
For me, the experience was excruciating. Standing there for two minutes felt like an eternity. I remember my teacher reassured me: “Don’t worry, Alice, it’ll be over soon.” Honestly, I don’t know how I managed to endure those moments. It was evident: I was afraid of being seen.
Most of the comments I received pointed that out: “she’s clearly uncomfortable with attention”. “She seems to be struggling badly.” “She seems to keep a lot to herself”. However, there was one comment that caught me off guard: “You may seem uncomfortable with attention, but you have a lot to say, and you know it.”
I kept that piece of paper. It was a powerful revelation: Someone saw through my exterior, and it shocked me. I recognized this person’s handwriting. It belonged to a classmate who worked with me for a previous team assignment. Although he barely knew me, he noticed the depth of my thoughts expressed through my ideas.
It’s because of that comment that I eventually got the courage to emerge from my shell when platforms like Blogger and Twitter started blooming. They offered endless possibilities to voice opinions and share creations. Throughout the years, I’ve done my best to tackle my fear of being seen. One of my most recent accomplishments is making videos and talking to the camera from time to time.
@alicestrathernauthor Thinking of all recent graduates out there. I’d love to share a little bit of my own experience through this bookrec. I wish someone would have told me this when I was a recent graduate! #booktok #indiebooktok #indiebooks #summerreading
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Being Ready vs Being Curious: Which Approach to Take?
Being ready and being curious are two different creative perspectives.
Confronting both concepts made me think about my friend Silvia. She wanted to be a writer.
Wherever she went, she always had a book in her hands. Additionally, she also had a pocket dictionary to look up any new word she stumbled upon. Silvia wanted to fully understand the content she was consuming to the last bit.
Silvia’s dedication to reading and endless curiosity for words was unparalleled. The most impressive part? When she wrote his own stories, she sounded like a seasoned author. Her structure was flawless, and her vocabulary was out of this world. She could have gotten herself a book deal whenever she wanted.
I’ve lost contact with her, so I don’t know what she decided for her writing career. I really hope she’s living her dream.
However, even when it seemed that she had everything to stand out in the writing world, I remember hearing her say this dreadful phrase from time to time:
“I’m not ready because I need more experience”.
How many times have you heard that statement from friends or colleagues? How many times have you caught yourself saying those same words?
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You Don’t Have to Start Quickly
First of all, happy new year!
May you have a wonderful 2025 full of great experiences. May you accomplish all you have planned for yourself in the next 12 months.
Whether you are full of energy or not, here’s an interesting approach to consider as you take the first few steps into your goals/resolutions:
Austin Kleon always has a great perspective on beginnings.
Remember: you can go slowly and still reach your goals.
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Wrap-up: 20 things that made my 2024
Every year is unique, and that’s such a beautiful thing. You never know what will come your way. Isn’t it great that you discover new interests out of “randomness”? Isn’t it wonderful that you also get to celebrate milestones? All events, no matter how big or small, are worth noting.
Every discovery, every win, reveals a piece of our journey in life.
Here’s my traditional list of 20 things that made my year.
- Celebrating my son’s milestones as a toddler
- Completing 200 pages of my new book
- Visiting Spokane for the first time
- Visiting Barnes & Noble for the first time
- Switching to Threads
- Reading “A Radical Awakening” by Dr. Shefali
- Reading “The Power of Now” by Ekhart Tolle
- Reading “Aura” by Carlos Fuentes
- Discovering binaural beats
- Enjoying a great meal at Major Tom
- Trying a baked Alaska for the first time
- Bashar
- Discovering bandcamp and getting into vaporwave music
- FM Skyline
- Jared Pike’s dream pools
- Music inspired by dream pools
- Liminal spaces
- The pleasure of reading Long Reads
- Rick Rubin’s podcast
- Having meaningful conversations with Meta AI assistant on Instagram
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Creative Fears: What if People Criticize Me?
One of my creative fears as a writer was being criticized.
I used to doubt my storytelling skills. I thought that, as soon as I hit the “publish” button, I would receive comments at how “meh” my plot and characters were. As I was getting ready to release Kaleidoscope Eyes, my first novella, I feared I’d only get one-star reviews.
Truth is, this is my current rating:
In the age of rates and reviews, I’ve learned that remaining true to my calling is what matters the most. I’m writing, I’m sharing, and I’m constantly improving. Even while experiencing all kinds of fears, I decided to put my novella out there. I was aware that some people would like it, and others not so much.
So how do you deal with that fear of criticism? In my experience, there’s no step-by-step formula. However, if I could mention one thing that has been useful for me, that would be a mindset shift: let reviewers tell what they want to say, either positive or negative. Let them be. Having a piece of work in the public eye involves getting all sorts of comments. That’s inevitable.
Ask yourself is their feedback is useful to you in any way. If so, then implement them in your next pieces of work.
External opinions are out of your control. All you can do is staying committed to deliver your best work possible every time you share/publish online or in any other format.
Dare to be disliked. Your work is not for everyone, and that’s okay.
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Being Seen
There comes a time when you need to share your creations. It all might start as a private endeavour, but eventually, you just know that they need their own space to keep growing.
You might be uncomfortable with the idea of being seen. You might feel like you need more experience or practice. Or even popularity.
Never underestimate the power of showing up a little bit at a time. Whether you show your face or record your own voice, it all compounds to a greater purpose: sharing your unique vision with an audience.
The world needs you.
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Your Best Hours of the Day
This prompt reminded me of my teen years.
I used to tell my mom that there were specific times when certain moods took place.
- At 11 am I tended to be aggravated
- At 1 pm I got hungry
- At 5 pm I felt at my best and was willing to talk to anyone about anything
My statements made her giggle.
Now that James Clear mentions it, I believe there’s great value in spotting your best hours of the day. Asking yourself whether you’re a morning person or a late night owl is also a good starting point.
So what can we do at those times?
Maybe write a few lines on a journal.
Maybe reply to emails with a more polite tone.
Maybe going out for a walk.
Maybe starting a new book.
Possibilities are infinite. The point is making the most of it in a way that makes you feel you’re exploring your best potential in that very moment.
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When Your Creative Intuition Says Make it Anyway
What if you followed your creative intuition wherever it led you? Imagine if you did so fearlessly and without overthinking your every step.
An aspect of the creative process involves dealing with self-doubt. “What if I fail?” “What if this doesn’t make me any money?” In an attempt to make those questions go away, it’s common to talk to peers or mentors and seek their approval. While this action in itself is alright, it’s also important to validate your own voice and instincts. Otherwise, it’s someone else deciding your next moves.
Even after getting feedback, the doubts are still there. “What if what I’m creating is irrelevant on social media?” “What if no one interacts with my content?” There’s that need for external validation again.
It happens to me too.
As an author, I keep an eye on newly released books. I can’t help but notice that there are some genres that get more attention than others. Sometimes I wonder if it’d be a “safer” bet to embrace one of those hot genres and see how that goes. My struggle sounds like this:
“Wow, other authors are making it big in that genre. Should I go for it too? Nobody else seems to be writing in the genre I do. Would switching to popular trends be beneficial? I could also get more engagement on social media. But still…I’m not so sure.”
It’s exactly in the middle of that inner debate that creative intuition kicks in. That’s when I need to be real and ask myself: “does this genre truly align with the type of story I want to tell?” Most of the time, I find that I’m more excited to work on a book idea that wouldn’t fit into any of the popular trends.
When doubts get the worst out of you, I want you to remember that…
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Intuition is Non-Negotiable
